She's Having a Baby

So I was watching She's Having a Baby on the Lifetime Movie Network yesterday, and I'm thinking, "I could have sworn there was a synchronized lawnmowing scene in here somewhere," and sure enough, there is (starts at 3:16):

Why would LMN cut that out? That sequence is rich! But LMN trimmed the hell out of the whole film, and just used the time for more commercials about selling your gold. 

Also, on the subject of Elizabeth McGovern, man, 20 years ago, I would have drove (drove, drover) that home like a pack of sled dogs (see 3:45 in the clip below):

But now...please, for your own sake, under no circumstances should you look for any current pictures of her.

Ah, you did it, didn't you? Time! It will get you, too!

You need to think about your drinking.

Tanner doing his best impression of Chun-Li:

However, binge drinking isn't all fun and games. Consider the lobster:

• Blackout Gambit: Drink 'til something happens. All-American Classic.
  
• Interest Gambit: See how quickly you can get somebody interested in you, then don't be interested in them.
  
• Fallback Gambit: There's no shame in going with something familiar but awful. Well, maybe a little shame.
  
• Slut Phase Gambit: React to years of relationship oppression by sleeping with all of your ex's friends.
  
• Legwork Gambit: You can have everything you want, but you're gonna have to fucking work for it.
• Facetime Gambit: When just being around is half the legwork.
• N.C.M.O.: Noncommital makeouts. What could possibly go wrong? NOTE: MUST BE ATTEMPTED SURREPTITIOUSLY.
  
• Commit Mo': Only sticking your tongue down the throat of someone you really care about.
  

Actually, that all sounds almost entirely like fun and games.

Webquips.com

That Eurotrash DJ knows what he's talkin' about, true believers! Webquips.com is the newest and greatest way to catch up on all your favorite arachknight adventures! So don't be late to the party! Take Tanner's advice, and swing on over to Webquips.com!

Both Sides of the Issue

Kirk Cameron on acting, kissing, and kissing while acting:

In Kirk Cameron’s new movie, “Fireproof,” he has to kiss the actress playing his wife. That was a problem. Cameron will not kiss any woman who is not his wife.

“I have a commitment not to kiss any other woman,” the former child star of “Growing Pains” told Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford Monday on TODAY in New York. "Even in acting, you're still doing it."

To get around the conflict, the filmmakers employed a bit of movie magic, Cameron explained. They dressed his wife, actress Chelsea Noble, like the movie’s female lead and shot the scene in silhouette.

“So when I’m kissing my wife, we’re actually husband and wife honoring marriage behind the scenes."

And Erica Durance, discussing acting, lesbianism, and acting like a lesbian (from an interview in the October 2007 issue of Maxim):

How does [your husband] feel about seeing you swapping spit with other guys on TV?

It doesn't bother him, because he's an actor, too. I'll be like, "Honey, I saw you doing some chick on TV today!" The funniest experience was when I recently went to audition for a pilot about lesbians. I'm making out with this girl, and I go, "I know you from somewhere." Turns out she'd played [my husband's] girlfriend on another series. I went home and said, "Remember Tamara? I made out with her today." He was like, "Ah, what a nice girl."

However, I'm not entirely ready to declare a potential relationship between Durance and Cameron impossible until I can find a quote from Durance on bananas. Wait, no, I'm entirely ready now.

The Perfect Crime

Can you see this coming from three miles away?

Because John could not.

Frisrakey Championships 2008

Nick is the best at frisrakey.

Music by Galleon, all "Freedom to Move."

Matching T-Shirts, Fun with Rhythm