Monday, October 03, 2016

Fall TV 2k16

Is it already time for a new season of television? Whhaaaa it really honestly seems like only yesterday that it was last season. I'm at a point in my life where there is almost no way I am starting a new show, so here's a bunch of reasons why I can't be arsed to check out the new fall programming, plus the cartoons I've been watching for so many decades that I can't stop. The number of episodes I'll watch before giving up is thus hypothetical (I already gave up).


NEW Son of Zorn: Remember Clone High? I still watch Clone High, or at the very least, quote Clone High. I'm not watching this, though. (FOX 8:30 p.m. EST 9/25)

Bob's Burgers: About a million episodes behind on this. Would quote it more in conversation, all I can usually manage are Tina's "uhhhhhs." (FOX 7:30 9/25)

Family Guy: As long as one episode in 14 is decent, I keep at it. The last one I remember clearly was about a Swamp Monster, pretty sure that aired in 2010. (FOX 9 9/25)

NEW Westworld: I'll get around to it. (HBO 9 10/2)


NEW Kevin Can Wait: Could have also been called Kevin Only Knows, if you wanted to do that, Kevin. Erinn Hayes, despite all superficial evidence, is not Rose Byrne. Will watch when sick for comfort. (CBS 8:30 9/19)

NEW The Good Place: It's My Name is Earl meets Bored to Death. Will watch one episode and eject due to disappointment that this is neither My Name is Earl nor Bored to Death. (NBC 10 9/19)

NEW Timeless: I'll always think of this show as the one with Blahblah and the black scientist from Better Off Ted. (NBC 10 10/3)

Supergirl: They put all 10 seasons of Smallville on Hulu. Can you believe that show was on the air for a DECADE? I rewatched the first 5 eps of season 1 for the first time in 15 years, and I have to simultaneously say yes and no, I both do and do not believe it. I watched weekly from season 2-8, and will do my best to make it that long with Supergirl. No promises, though. (The CW 8 10/10)

NEW Man With A Plan: Matt LeBlanc stars as the dog with a blog, I think. I wanted to watch it but I think it's been cancelled. (CBS 8:30 10/24)


Brooklyn Nine-Nine: I ended up making it like eight eps deep into season 2. I even impressed myself. (FOX 8 9/20)

New Girl: Sometimes Megan Fox is on. Those are the eps I watch. (FOX 8:30 9/20)

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: It says here that Ghost Rider is on this season, but I'm not seeing anything about Cobie Smulders, so it looks like I'll be watching Jack Reacher 2 tha Grave instead. (ABC 10 9/20)

NEW This is Us: Mandy Moore was born like a week before me so if I think she's a QT 3.14 in the "Candy" music video there's probably likely nothing wrong with that. I will watch the music video for "Candy." (NBC 10 9/20)


NEW Lethal Weapon: If it were 15 years ago and this was a new season of Fastlane, well, that's the universe for me, pal. I will watch the next Fast & Furious film, even if Jordana Brewster is not in it. She might be, though. (FOX 8 9/21)

NEW Speechless: I will watch every very brave minute of this unless I don't (I won't). (NBC 8:30 9/21)

NEW Designated Survivor: Totally baller when Kiefer says in the pilot, after the president and everyone else is murder-killed, "We'll make diamonds from their ashes. Take them into battle with us." I get choked up just thinking about how good the drama is on this show. Planning on rewatching all 50 missions in perpetuity. (ABC 10 9/21) 


NEW Notorious: Are they using Didi Gregarious' at-bat entrance music for the theme? If not, thanks for wasting my time. Will add to a Netflix watchlist in three years and ignore that watchlist for another three years. (ABC 9 9/22)

NEW Pitch: I will watch until there is either a scene where the umpire states there's nothing in the rule book that says a woman can't play baseball, or Tom Hanks reminds the protagonist that there is no crying in baseball. (FOX 9 9/22)


Hawaii Five-0: It would appear that I am somewhere between 3 and 5 seasons behind on this one. Hawaii is a nice place to visit. I recommend it. (CBS 9 9/23)

NEW MacGyver! Lucas "Monster Trucks" Havok stars as The Guyver, making life-saving inventions out of household materials. I will watch every ball-busting minute except all of the minutes after the first minute. (Fox 9:30 11/8)


SNL: Crocs with socks, all season long. (NBC 11:30 10/1)

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