Annals of Drinking Pt. 1,478

Back once again with the Renegade Master:


'D' for damage with the ill behavior.

Take the Stock Aitken Waterman Challenge.

Mike Stock, Matt Aitken and Pete Waterman are a British songwriting trio who, during the mid-1980s, produced somewhere between 'close to all' and 'all' of the tracks that promised to never give you up. And if you can sit through this 10 minute megamix compilation of some of their hits, you are a liar because even I cannot sit through it. But try to make it to at least 1:13.



So, did you make it? If so, congratulations, you have just been Rick Rolled. Take it in stride, though, it's just one of those days. Personally, I got Rick Rolled by the easy listening station driving this afternoon, and then again after viewing this image. That's life.



In fact, the only place you are guaranteed never to be Rick Rolled is the Hump Day event at Urban Table, every Wednesday night from 10 pm to past my bedtime.


(To be honest, I don't really mind getting Rick Rolled, that song is tits)

Buy the Stock Aitken & Waterman DVD

This time I went to Brosh's ranch

I read somewhere (maybe here?) that girls drink more at theme parties, so the theme for this party was trading hats. Some researchers would also have you believe that girls not only drink more at theme parties, they drink more than guys at theme parties, but that's not true. Girls never drink more than guys, especially if it is a competition. And guys, like graduate students, view everything as a competition.

Candy Stripers!

I don't know if this is true. But I do know that Karl was up for it.

THIS is a knife.

I have no clue why we were entrusted with sharp objects. My best guess is that there was some kind of shotgun contest that required the use of a knife to cut the cans. My guess continues: Flying Jesi won the shotgun contest handily. John was then drunk enough to lift Excalibur from the stone.

I think Brosh said it best:

Can't Get Enough of that Harvest Stuff

Frankly, I'm jealous.


Oh! Now, it's YOUR turn to be jealous.


Fuck! I'm jealous again.

Three Photos And Their Offensive Commentary.

Remember, kids, always plan ahead when you need to use a public restroom. Or make sure you bring your crotch fairy. To hold your crotch. God, I love crotch fairies.



Clay is receiving the holy sacrament of our lord and savior, Jeezie Creezie. I hope he's praying for some game, cuz he can't huck and he can't fuck. I mean, if he could fuck, why would he have to be with a DIFFERENT girl every night? No repeat business means no skillz. Mad fucking skillz.



Luke says he's got a story for me. Well, Luke, I'm waiting. But while I wait, I can fantasize about what the story is. Maybe it's about how he refused to use a condom in a sexual situation, or the issue of the condom just never came up. And then, when the whole thing's over, everybody's like, "Oh shit, we are definitely going to have a baby. and AIDS." At least, she's like that. I already know about my AIDS, and if I see a swell in that tummy, I'm going to Mexico. Ha ha. Just kidding. I'm not gonna tell you where I'm going, bitch. How do I even know that's my baby?

My imagination is exhausting.

Well, it IS a pretty good party trick.

I'm usually the one who snaps these pictures, but I'm always surprised when I come across one of BJax lifting up yet another person onto his shoulders.

Birthday Girl

Monique had a birthday yesterday! The same day as Jean-Claude Van Damme. Neat

You're still me!

you got that right!

Yeah!

The Worst I Tell You!

This is for Danielle, my best friend since before I could walk. Keep chasing those stars, girl!

Sam

This is Sam. This is her responding to something incredibly real I just said, probably along the lines of, "You have valid and well-informed opinions on a variety of subjects, Sam."



That's Bjax in her crotch.

Sam's second-favorite thing to do is flip the bird. Her first favorite is sucker-punching me for keeping it real.

People looking awkward dancing.

This is a picture of me not writing a book about Rachel, as per our agreement. I know it may sound a little silly, but every time I have an urge to write a book, I just drink a lot and dance with pretty girls.

Evan and Mike: Yeah Yeah Yeah

This is me doing my best impression of Mike. Little do I know that Mike is right behind me! Also, I'm sipping on Gnac!



Later, Mike and I share a good laugh at John's expense (we made him shoot Gem Clear! Tee Hee!).

Seriously, Don't Step.

"Ooo, I'm so smart! I can get my rocks off on another guy's bed. Blessed art me for being such a Goddamn retard."

Seriously, idiots. Give it up. There will never be a point in time where I will not make your dumb ass unembarrassed by the effort.

Happy Birthday!

I think everyone is pretty clear at this point about how drunken hijinx work.


I'm not clear yet on if I won or lost a bet for some peeps. At this juncture, all that is clear is that I'm a drunk-looking snufflelufflegass (sp). I wonder what I was drinking? Probably whiskey. And that's how Rachel Yingling turned whatever age she turned.

I just tell it like it is.

And in the lighter side of the news, here's how I am in love:

• You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often.
• You give and take equally in relationships.
• You need your space and privacy. You don't like to be smothered.
• You're secretly hoping your partner will change for you.
• You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

Pretty awesome, huh? That quiz was like a laser! laser!...into my soul!

I no know. This no my job.

This guy's really funny. He'll straight up do ANYTHING when he's trashed.



I don't even know who's making fun of who here. We're both so sly like that.



Hentai! Woot! (Ryan loves hentai).

And there was this THONG that kept showing up in the photos last night. It was really funny. You should come over and check it out.

P.S. If I made out with your girlfriend last night, I'm sorry.

P.P.S. Not really.

Dear Adrielle Churchill

You are as crazy as any crazy person I have ever met, only way hotter. Proof positive that life has a way of evening things out. You crazy.

Sincerely,
Sanesy McSanesonton