Monday, July 30, 2012

How to Offer Water in the Modern Way

According to David Remnick's "We Are Alive," Bruce Springsteen's wife Patti Scialfa offers guests water "in the modern way." There are no details in the article about exactly what the modern way is, so to clarify:

The modern way to offer water to your guests is a 4 step process.

Step 1. Offer your guest(s) water. Do not offer anything else.
Step 2. If your guest would like some water, tell them that's cool, but that you want them to know that you're offering it in the modern way.
Step 3. Should your guest look confused, helpfully gesture towards your crotch and waggle your eyebrows.
Step 4. On the off-chance that suggestive waggling does not initiate certain activities, sigh and wave your guests in the general direction of the kitchen, mumbling something along the lines of, "Sink's in there."

And now you too know the modern way to serve water.


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