Thursday, July 14, 2005


I tore my ACL, had surgery on the mug, and am currently experience some atrophying-type pain at all hours. Give me a month.

(Although, I WAS swimming two days after surgery, dancing after three, and drinking heavily again after seven).

Also after a week, I went to see Fantastic Four. Some bullets:
  • Perfect Cast.
  • Worst extras I have ever seen in a film. What was the deal with that woman following the Thing outside of the bike arena, staring him down for 30 seconds in one shot? And the girls at the end of the film who diligently waited for the opportunity to have the Human Torch ask for their names and shots were quite obvious about that goal.
  • The Thing is having pancakes with Dr. Doom.
  • Dr. Doom sticking his hand in a machine makes the Thing Ben Grimm again.
  • Dr. Doom says "2 down, 2 to go," when, as far as he is concerned, 3 are down, 1 is to go.
  • A reporter asks the Human Torch if it is true he can fly, when there was no indication for the crowd that this was remotely possible.
  • Everyone EXCEPT Sue Storm thought she was dating Dr. Doom for two years. TWO YEARS. How does someone maintain that level of obliviousness? Be as hot as Jessica Alba.
  • Freak of Nature, huh? Next time, try using Dr. Doom fuckin' with the numbers as the reason that the science experiment goes wrong. That is the traditional and proper origin path.
  • Was the fact that Mark Frost co-created Twin Peaks the reason that this film was so continuity-challenged?
  • One scene: The FF can't leave the Baxter Building. Next scene: The Invisible Girl is out walking around. NEXT scene: The FF can't leave the Baxter Building.
  • Doom's assistant was the finest screen performance of the year. Dead on.
  • Chris Evans was on fire. The man did no wrong in his manic performance of, "I am going into this situation winning. I will come out the other side winning."
  • How much more money did they dump on stretching effects? Because I kept looking for that, and they all looked like shit. They will look even more like shit in six months.
  • Let's give Peyton Reed $60 Million and see what his Jonny Quest-style retro extravaganza looks like.
Sometimes life provides you with bad movies, and all you can do is watch them. I guess.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous3:45 PM

    i don't like the sound of that last paragraph one iota.