Sunday, January 22, 2006

Everything I Ever Kneaded to Know I Learned from Dough

I tried to use my car's keyless entry on my front door today. IT DOES NOT WORK. And yet, I certainly would not have been surprised if it had. I am generally on autopilot through much of any given day. Most of my conscious thought is dedicated to imagining strangers drawing me naked, fantasizing about punching certain people in the face until they stop breathing, and mentally anticipating the next issue of Fred Perry's Gold Digger. I'm a simple soul. I just do not have the time to consider whether or not pressing the unlock button will or will not, in fact, unlock the front door.

However, with my new "SUPER" spider-sense, reaction times are up 8000%! Woo-ah!

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