Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Everything I need to know about Lorenzo Lamas' daughter I learned from watching The Bachelor.

Shayne Lamas, Bachelorette and Bonne Vivante

Being attractive serves as a natural advantage in life. People just tend to respond more favorably to those who are beautiful, and to give them what they want. This is because, hey, you never know, a beautiful person might just sleep with you if you keep it up with that favorable responding. And as the old maxim goes, "A person who doesn't give preferential treatment to a hottie dies a thousand death, but a person who got to sleep with a hottie dies but one."

Of course, this leads to little resistance in the life of a beautiful person, and without challenges or adversity, the souls and potential talents of those who are blessed with looks tend to wither and die. That, or the beautiful person overcompensates by trying to be extra nice and humble, and also trying new things with gusto, and all that can be pretty insufferable, too. Life is rough!

Now, most people who take care of themselves are attractive in some way or another, and everybody has days when they are just 'on' and things work out for them. But there is a certain category of "beautiful" that, if a person is in it, they will meet with absolutely no resistance in their lifetime outside of getting their run on General Hospital extended past 18 episodes.

Shayne Lamas is in this category. And it certainly does not help that she is the daughter of someone else who is also in this category. But now she is doing her best to find true love, ABC-style. Although it doesn't help there that she completely dominates news coverage about the current season.

Really, though, she doesn't NEED any help. Even in the ideal numbers situation of 24 single attractive women (and a token crazy) doing their best to impress you, it is still your job to impress a girl like Shayne. ABC has done all the heavy lifting for current The Bachelor Matt Grant by paying Shayne's per diem, but Grant still has to maintain a modicum of interest from Shayne, same as Brad had to for Bettina and Travis had to for Sarah. Then, after the overnight dates with the final three bachelorettes (Amanda R., Erin H. and Shayne), Grant can cut her, because impressing beautiful people after you have slept with them is exhausting and not that lucrative.

When you really think about it, the point is that the most beautiful person in the room will consistently finish third, both on The Bachelor and in life.


  1. Anonymous12:22 AM

    I agree with most everything you said - but I must ask, do you know that Shayne gets eliminated after her overnight date? I think that it was somewhat obvious last season that Bettina slept with Brad, and then he dumped her.

    It seems that if Shayne wanted to win in the end, she would have to wait until he chooses her before sleeping with him.

    I think it is somewhat unfair to the other women that they are competing with someone like Shayne, who is young, gorgeous, and equipped with a Hollywood wardrobe. Even Holly couldn't resist Shayne - I loved watching the scene where she (what a nice girl!) tanned Shayne before her date with Matt.

  2. No, I don't know any of this with certainty, it's all just my personal predictions. And as we have already seen, I guessed at least one of the final three wrong, when Erin H. was cut in the second week. Oh well, some people bet on sports, I gamble with reality dating shows.

    What I think is clear is how badly Matt wants to sleep with Shayne, in spite of their complete lack of chemistry and his very noticeable unease around her. Were they to hook up, there would be nothing left for him there and he would move on pretty quick.

    I still think Amanda R. will win, but it is possible that Matt's infatuation with Shayne will cause him to flub his chances with anyone he actually gets along with.