Sunday, June 22, 2008

Subjects Not to Goof On by Categories of Severity


  • Absolutely NO goofing on: race, religion (Hinduism, monotheistic belief systems besides Christianity), sexual orientation
  • Somewhat no goofing on: nationality, Baptists, people you just met (three hang-out grace period)
  • Probably best not to goof on because some people are related to retards or are married: retards, marriage
  • You will make someone cry if you goof on: health (fatties)
  • Goof at your own risk on: politics, education, children
  • Practitioners don't want you to goof on this but you should: sleeping with married chicks (also good to do as a goof)
  • Completely okay to goof on: All other Protestants, Catholics, clothing, drink selections, April
  • Goof-proof: April's dancing
  • Oh, COME ON HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME NOT TO GOOF ON THAT?: dogs eating cats
Feel free to put these on an index card so you'll never be lost in a social setting again!
Posted by at 1:01 AM
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8 comments:

  1. I look like I'm about to cry, did you say something about my weight?
    ReplyDelete
  2. your list conspicuously left out rape. to goof or not to goof?

    -anonymous rapist
    ReplyDelete
  3. you can totally goof on me, i have thick skin, BUT don't call me fat
    ReplyDelete
  4. you all need to be goofed on immediately.
    ReplyDelete
  5. What about goofing on surgical operations? Like, say, leaving an scalpel inside of a patient? Surely that seems fine...as long as it's done as a goof.
    ReplyDelete
  6. yes, that would be acceptable, but this list was the result of all the things I wasn't allowed to goof on last Friday night. If Henley's (surgeon) brother had been there it definitely would have made the list.
    ReplyDelete
  7. so wait, are you saying you goofed on me on friday, but not my dancing? b/c if you did...i'm okay with that

    p.s. update your flicker photos...i knows you haaas some
    ReplyDelete

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