Monday, April 07, 2008

Whiskey Boot

Is your rampant alcoholism causing rifts between you and your family, friends and coworkers? At the same time, would you rather not give up being a rampaging alcoholic? Well, now your prayers have been answered (assuming you were praying about this)! Introducing Whiskey Boot, the patented system of secretly storing your whiskey in a boot in your closet where no one can find it!

Yes, Whiskey Boot! A longtime secret of the boozin' stars, including Rocky IV's Brigitte Nielsen and probably someone else maybe as well, Whiskey Boot is now available to the public, and it can be your secret too! But don't just take my word for it! See what these real-life Whiskey Boot aficionados have to say about drinking whiskey out of a boot!

Children love Whiskey Boot, too! No, wait, children do not love it, but pets do, and that's slightly more acceptable!

How much would you pay to keep your dark, soused secret safe from those around you. $10? $100? $1,000? Try three easy payments of nothing! That's right, Whiskey Boot is completely free! All you need is a bottle of whiskey...and a boot (whiskey and boot not included)!

Try it today!

You should not operate heavy machinery while using Whiskey Boot. Side effects may include drowsiness, nausea, increased risk of awesomeness at parties, and slight dementia. Paid for by the Committee to Drink Whiskey out of Boots (CDWB).

1 comment:

  1. it's also handy for sneaking whiskey into public places, just put on the boot and then place the whiskey in between the boot and your leg